So the morning after my hook-up with Tom McGreevy, we opted to do some free laundry at Stanford University. That's right. Apparently, laundry facilities at Stanford are free. Also, they serve beer on campus. OU, where you at? I'm sure their students get screwed one way or another, but my experience there has caused me to consider a re-do on my college experience. Nahhhh, I'm just playin' OU. You know I love you.
So, after laundry, we headed to In-N-Out Burger on T-Mac's insistence. It reminded me of one of those fast food restaurants in Grand Theft Auto - you know, Cluckin' Bell or Burger Shot or Pizza Stack. They literally have three options on the menu: burger, burger and burger. It was not bad. But it was no Blimpie. But what is?
Tom was about to take us to San Francisco and give us a tour of all the back alleys and gay bars that he is so familiar with when he was called to work by his boss. So Kirby and I were left to fend for ourselves. And yes, it was Pride Week. We saw quite a few characters. Unfortunately (or fortunately), most of them were too quick for our cameras. But we got a few pics.
Being slightly afraid, we stayed mostly in the touristy parts of town, especially Mr. Worf.
I mean Fisherman's Wharf. It was cool. It was right on the bay and you could see Alcatraz and pigeons and guys drumming on buckets and boat trucks and delicious taffy.
We ate dinner at Bubba Gump. It was WEIRD. They play Forrest Gump on tv there all day and have so many references to Forrest and Bubba and Jenny and Mama it's sickening. Their drink menus are attached to ping pong paddles. They have license plates on every table that say "Run Forrest Run" and "Stop Forrest Stop" which are used to gain the servers' attention. And the only soft drink they serve is Dr. Pepper. Ok I made that last one up. Anyway, the food wasn't that good. After dinner we set off for Lombard Street, the twistiest, curviest street in the world.
Some of the streets in San Francisco are unbelievably steep, to the point that when you go from a flat surface over the edge, you think you might just be falling off a cliff.
We also drove across the Golden Gate Bridge. $6 toll, slightly better than the $8 it costs for the George Washington Bridge in New York.
Candlestick Park
Skyline
Transamerica Pyramid
After San Francisco, we headed back to Tom's apartment, where he had just finished up pleasing his boss. The next morning we bid him farewell and headed to Yosemite. The first thing that happened was a freak summer snowstorm.
The second thing that happened was that we were nearly attacked by a vicious bobcat, until he realized we were fellow Bobcats ourselves.
There are "red bear, dead bear" signs all over the park where bears had been hit by cars. Many of the bears weighed over 400 pounds, but unfortunately the drivers were only able to carry 200 pounds back to their wagons.
As for the park itself, it was pretty awesome. We took A LOT of pictures.
On our way out of the park, we saw a couple of bears. We narrowly missed running into the second one with our car. Also, Kirby was driving for the first extended period of the entire trip. He sort of remembered how.
After Yosemite, we headed for our ultimate destination of the night - Reno, Nevada - the Biggest Little City in the World. Whatever that means.
I was kinda hoping that Reno would be like a mini-Vegas. It was not. It was like a dirty, crappy, butthole mini-Vegas. Reno is to Las Vegas as Memphis is to New York City. I think that's about all the explaining I need to do.
We stayed at the Ramada, which actually had a casino in it. It had $2 minimum blackjack, if that gives you any idea of the quality of that establishment. I find that the easiest way to determine the quality of a casino, beyond cleanliness and size, is the attractiveness of the cocktail waitresses. The hotter the waitresses, the better the casino. At the Ramada, the cocktail waitresses were men.
So, this morning we left Reno and didn't look back. It was a looong, excruciating drive across northern Nevada. I don't know if you realize this, but there are ENORMOUS portions of this country where nothing exists - not even air or thought. No wonder AT&T lacks coverage there. Verizon, you're wasting your time. We did see one cool thing: the sign for the neighboring areas of Deeth and Starr Valley.
For whatever reason, after you cross the border into Utah, the landscape changes, but not for the better. There are salt pans and tumbleweeds and Mormons everywhere.
Finally! A rainbow! It was like a sign from heaven that we were getting to civilization.
And what did we see next? A sign for a strip club! Praise the lord! Even Utah knows how to get dirrrrty.
Also, there was this large phallus.
In a final, unbelievable turn of events, while we were out looking for a place to eat dinner, we RANDOMLY RAN INTO A BLIMPIE! And not only was this blimpie not in a gas station, it actually had a drive thru. If every single night of the trip so far had been like the first night in Memphis, this Blimpie would have made it all worth it.
Denver tomorrow. Goodnight.
